Surfcasting Gifts

"I see the fish are biting today..."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Here we are."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

TV-Man

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

How I met your mother

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"In da house"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'Welcome to digital - you now have more of what you didn't want than you ever thought possible!'

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Remote control wars.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Casting in the swamp.

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Why there are no Slug Surfing Champs: Premature Dissolving in Salt Water.

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'You see Mum, I've modified your FM-radio to be powered straight from the electric fence...'