Support Seekers Gifts

Future Site of the Procrastination Help Centre - Opening Fall of 1996

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

Fairy Tale Regrets: I've longed for someone to say just once, "I've got your back, Bro.'"

UNDERACHIEVERS' ANONYMOUS, 'Someday we'll rent a bigger place.'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Turmoil change.

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'I'd like to help you, but I never leave the office.'

'You have a fauxbia.'

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."