Support Line Juxtaposition Enthusiast Pillows

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Applause

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Devil tattoo.

That's weird - every time I call the self-help hotline, it goes straight to my voicemail.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

'I'm on the plain.'

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"Well, ya gotta go when ya gotta go."

"If only the men could see my fun side."

'He's definitely not a top flite.'

Small man falling in love with large woman

"Well, Henderson, you were the one who thought we should give him a free hand."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Know your future - palmistry, tarot cards, DNA screening'

Assassin/Cartoonist

Standup translator...

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

Guy reading 'Irvine Welsh' drinks 'Earl grey'

Art vs Nature

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

In a world where imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, there's nobody like Joe.

"This must be Grandma's facebook page!"

EZ pass cards only.

'You'll catch your death of cold out in this weather!'

Honey Trappist

"Your Judaica shop?"

"Hey, man - a taser is not a heckle."