Support Groupie Gifts

"No, you may not help me organize the meeting."

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Don't You Dare Stand in the Way of Me Standing in My Own Way

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Nick Cave.

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

ABBA

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

Huge support for focus groups etc but nobody at the political meeting

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"You're dragging the beat."

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'If they didn't have on-site daycare, I wouldn't even be able to come to these meetings.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

Self Harm Support.

"I have two children by a previous tour."

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

Victoria Beckham

Eric Clapton

'I was so shocked when I was born... I couldn't talk for a year.'

"I'd like a table near the band please."

The Electric Fence Survivors Support Group

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

Alcoholics Eponymous