Supermarket Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"Paper or Plastic?"

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

Pirates at the mall.

They get into debt so fast these days...

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Eye of Newt Helper

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Mail-Order Yard Sale

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).