Supermarket Rebel Pillows

'Not the most censurable thing you've every done, but I wouldn't brag about it.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"I'm unable to process this image."

Pirates at the mall.

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Blog Breakdown

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'