Supermarket Rebel Pillows

'Not the most censurable thing you've every done, but I wouldn't brag about it.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

Pirates at the mall.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Blog Breakdown

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"