Supermarket Executive Pillows

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

That's not a bad salary is it.

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Low Hanging Fruit

Attack of the 'health' foods

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Biker chopper shopper

Artificial Isle

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"I think the milk's off!"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"