Super Bowl Sunday Pillows

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Midnight in Minnesota

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

Beer Cannon

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Football season - time for the rubber-coated safety remote!'

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

Church for sports worshipers.

'As a test of your love, Kevin, I'd want our marriage to be on superbowl sunday.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

"Goal!"

Punt Cake

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Input From The Front Office

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

The Female Brain and The Other One

Watching the football.

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

American Football.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Father nursing his sick child