Super Bowl Scheduler Gifts

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Church for sports worshipers.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Danger Slow Sand.

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Goal!"

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Input From The Front Office

Watching the football.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

God's Sticky Notes

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

American Football.

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'Am I the first one here?'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.