Sunscreen Savant Pillows

"Geez- you used all the sunscreen?"

The time has come to bury my dear, sweet friend. Pardon? You have been a great companion and a trusted protector, but the end is nigh. Put my sunscreen into the trash. Hello wool guardian. For some, the change to winter can be dramatic.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

TV-Man

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

The Plasmas.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"George, I think factor 50 would probably be enough."

"God, I love this show!"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

Mind control

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

Pass the SPF 20,000

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

"Cool game!"

"Ned always naps more soundly when he's selling power back to the grid."

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

"She died doing what she loved."

Hot weather brings misery to millions.

Sunbloc 1000

''Solar energy'? -- like I don't do enough for the little twerps already!'

"The groomer used too much product."

'Dad, how old were you when you started noticing HD?'

"Are we at the undercoat stage yet, or is this still the primer?"

'Do you just add more layers as you get older, Mom?'