Skincare Savant Pillows

"Who can afford not to moisturize?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'Do you just add more layers as you get older, Mom?'

My strawberry cleansing cream, sesame oil skin moisturizer and goat's milk soap have ruined my diet.

Makeover: Before and After

"Are we at the undercoat stage yet, or is this still the primer?"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

Desert Dermatologist

New Twenty Blades

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

Complete Makeover

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"