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'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'