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'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'