Sunbathing Sardonic Pillows

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"He's So Your Type."

Targets

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

'Sure that money - detecting app works. It detected you had money didn't it?'

Special Place in Hell...

Bed of Nails on Holiday

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

"I never do as I say. That's the beauty of a hypocritical oath."

"I'm sorry Gerald but all those orgasms were 'fake news'."

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

"Take some identification with you in case you die."

'Is this the way to the beach?'

'You may experience some discomfort.'

"The food is so-so, but they make up for it with free refills on the drinks."

Hearse on an emergency

'Don't be so velodramatic!'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

'It couldn't be much fresher ,sir - didn't you see it wink at you ?'

"Look Marj, decalf."

'It may seem dull to you now, Harry, but at one time, everything in that book was breaking news.'

'I got bored with the pale horse, so I swapped it for a white van.'

'The world will remember me when I'm gone...at least, that considerable part I owe money to.'

"It's not garden decking. The wind blew the fence down last night."

Man Gives Death the Finger.

"When you die do you want to be cremated or buried?"