Sumo Superstar Gifts

'Oh, do you do Sumo?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Sumo Love.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

Joe hasn't been the same since training for that new biathlon--bronco busting and sumo wrestling.

Niche Extracurriculars

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'It was all ball!'

Quilt fanatic

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Ok, you were right. The Sumo diaper was a bad idea.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Moments later, extreme sumo flopping would lose its status as an Olympic sport.

'Eat up son, or you won't grow to be big and fat, like your father.'

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Segal & Clark: This is Sumo Wrestling Joe, not boxing!

'I see you graduated sumo cum laude.'

Sit ups.

'And...?'

'He's a big softie really'.

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

At the end of a sumo wrestling match.

"She's so smart...on the highway of life, she's in the E-Z Pass lane."

Sumo wrestling.

"Sumo Hockey."

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

The Sumo Wrestler's greatest challenge.

Weight Reducing Clinic. Plan B, Sumo Wrestling Classes.