Sugar Tax Analyst Pillows

"I'm not taking any chances."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Bored Baker

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

Of Congress can't come to an agreement on a spending plan...

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'Why I'm not my cheery self? It's tax-time...'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

Work life balance - "Tonight we're going to read about how Spiderman got the firms quarterly VAT returns in on time."

"I just can't resist...it's the nature of the beast in me!"

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'