Sugar Avoider Pillows

"Am I still hungry or am I just eating this because it's still there?"

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Garlic Free Zone.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

Buffet - now glutton free.

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

Milk...Milk...Anything but MILK!!

Energy Drinks

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

Black Forest Cake

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

Bake Shop / Crack Co-cake $10.

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"Toothbrushes...to brush with after eating your Halloween treats!"

"No more cross buns for you!"