Sudden Endings Pillows

'Sudden death?'

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

The princess and the key

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"… and they lived happily ever after… until the princess caught the prince with the chambermaid!"

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

Worst part of diagnosis...'I have some very bad news for you.'

Revised Texts

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"If she sings it's over."

"Turns out the sound of the squeaky toy was coming from inside the house."

'The golf balls you found by the lake are hatching.'

"... and they both pretended to live happily ever after."

"And to think we started as a book club."

The unexpected end of the journey.

"This neighborhood still attracts the occasional exile."

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

'We'd better call and put a hold on the newspaper for the neighbor. He appears to be gone and they're piling up.'

'I shouldn't be here, the doctor says I'm fine.'

Big Surprise (vending machine)

"The plumber is here."

"Hey man—Can I borrow twenty bucks?"

'I crashed my sportscar on the way to a Golf match.'

Moses had a hearing problem

"Mister Bones?!"

"Everything else is great. I'm just saying... a little advance notice would have been nice."

'Let's do something in bad taste.'