Suburban Dweller's Dilemmas T-Shirts

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Beware of the Lawn

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Tortured Plank

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants a Garden - Part 1

It was going to be a subdivision, but they ran out of snow. Chilly Hills Estates.

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

Skimming out star reflections

"I can remember when this was all farmland."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Single Family Home Sanctuary

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

Autumn Leaves

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

The Burbs

"Yes, I can remember when it was nothing but forest land as far as you could see."

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

Moving Van.

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

Turn that noise down !

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

Office block moving to the suburbs.

"I enjoy the park, but not the commute."