Subtlety Humorist Gifts

"Home security isn't subtle. If you've got it, flaunt it!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"International travel accessories, 2025 Passport covers Hey, isn’t Canada a lovely country? Even if I'm from the US Luggage tags Dear World, We are very sorry about how the U.S. is acting lately. Phrasebook I did not vote for him. Yo no voté por él. The tariffs are really stupid. Los aranceles son realmente estúpidas. We don’t really want to invade your country. Realmente no queremos invadir su país."

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."