Substitution Strategist T-Shirts

Instacart Substitutions

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'You'll learn that our corporate structure is a bit unconventional.'

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

"I like to stay on top of things."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

"The changes in the rules for risk management will turn the industry on its head."

George Smith Patton

Battle.

"I think we should have used catapults before ground forces"

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."