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Houdini 2019

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"That's Bill, from tech support."

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

Double life.

'I think the computer has had it, Naoni.'

How to save the Planet...

Thank You...For Everything You Do.

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

Prisoner of pollution.

Computer viruses

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

"So now, you have to become a subscription service."

"As an additional torment, our fire and brimstone are fuelled by coal."

Biden tapes together the Paris Climate Agreement.

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

Paramedic

"I'm afraid a computer tech is going to have to be prematurely taken."

Say 'no' to 'I done' and 'I seen'