Service Savior T-Shirts

"Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your services again!"

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

S.O.S. vaccine

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"Do you have a cure doctor?"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

Warmer Oceans/Apathy/Green Washing

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'We need someone who can turn this company around in a hurry.'

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

Panic Button

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

Vaccine

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Patience Tested While You Wait.

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

'You waved a white flag?2

Sea temperatures rising at alarming rate

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

How to save the Planet...

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'