Submissive Sweetheart T-Shirts

"We have an arrangement."

"I love you, you big fool."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"I know where we stand right now, Dr. Heisenberg, but where are we going?"

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

'I think I am in love dad - she even understands the offside rule.'

Market. Sale. Bottled Water. Improved! Now 25% Wetter!

Saguaro Cacti.

Puppy school vs. kitten school

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

'The gravy? Was that 'boat' or 'train', sir?'

"Curious and curiouser."

You had me at succulents!

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

"Oh, yes, Paul—whisper sweet sponsored content in my ear."

"My new girlfriend also plays football." "She's a keeper."

Medusa at her Vanity Table

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'

"Not one looks like her date's profile pic."

Toffee for the commentators

"This is my husband, John. He works for the CIA."

"Was that a mixed signal?"

the spitting cactus...

'Aww, how cute. They sent you a valentine subpoena.'

Old woman with a government improvement grant meeting with a cosmetic surgeon

Bitch-Slapping Scalia