Stylish Clothing T-Shirts

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Men's business romper.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Underweird bras."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"I opted for the upgrades."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Jeans sale

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"Honey, you know the rules. No cashmere before you're 15, no leather outerwear before you're 25."

'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'

Rosie Cheeks

Fashionista

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

'Make sure they fit straight!'

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'Why do you have your hat on backwards?'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"I don't know how Mom does it. I think I'm already getting a bunion."

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

2 Live J. Crew

"I'll be glad to see the back of winter - I'm sick of having to wear so much on a night out."

'Elton, I'm in a bind. The dry cleaners lost my clothes. Do you have a red velvet suit I could borrow?'

Man has chains on him, along with his pet dog and a fire plug.

'Cargo Cult' (a man kneeling before a pair of cargo trousers in a shop window).

Puffer Jacket