Style Guru Corner Pillows

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

His and Her wardrobe's

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...