Style-conscious Communicators Pillows

'I need a cellphone that I'd look good yelling into.'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

Bird Messaging

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

What they say. . . What I hear. . .

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

"Hey, you're cute, you must give me your number."

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

Man using flag semaphore in a therapy session.

Teen Weather

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"And close it with 'Yours truly, #innovativethinking #strongfocus #greatthirdquarter, Larry.'"

"Sit, sir. Harvard M.B.A. I speak business patois."

The contrast between a barrister and his clerk

"We need to text about our relationship."

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

'He gets very defensive.'

"And if I may tell you, in strictest confidence..."

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

Babel Construction Co.

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Now that we've invented language, I have to tell her every night where I've BEEN all day!'

Unaccustomed as I am to speaking in public...

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

"No, I have nothing on my mind, but if I did I don't want to talk about it."

"Can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis."

"Have your people get in touch with my people."

"But first let me give you the good news."

'It's my inner voice that lacks confidence, not me. It keeps asking, 'Can you hear me now'?'

'There's a phone call for you, John!'