Study Gifts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Stuff you need to know/Stuff You Can Do Without.

"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'And just what type of sensitive material could a second grader have that makes him want a paper shredder for his birthday?'

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Yeah, but what if I study hard and get good grades and I don't like it?

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

Studying Tiepolo (Rococo ceiling painter).

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"Baldo, you never seem to be in a hurry to finish to do your homework."

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"I'm afraid I'm a work in progress - 2 grades forward and 1 grade back."

"I'm not sure Ms. Reed has confidence in our progress."

"If there's an evacuation plan for tornadoes, why isn't there an evacuation plan for tests?"

"I'm experiencing student burnout."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

Increase in Time Spent on Homework.

'Quick! She's being crushed by her GCSE certificates.'

"Dad, I have to tell you...I would never do anything behind your back. Smiley and I were in my room studying...nothing more, nothing less. I would never disrespect your house and your rules."

'It was a surprise quiz to me and the teacher - I passed!'

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'

"Is this history or science test?" "Probably not." "Does it matter?"

Kids Nowadays.

The kid who learnt about math on the street

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."