Student Progress Milestone Pillows

'About half the students increased speed and lost some comprehension. The other half increased comprehension but lost some speed.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Tenacity trumps everything!

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Space for Lease.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

'Mistakes were made...'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

"Great first glide son! Oh, by the way, remind me to teach you how to land tomorrow..."

Even you forgot my anniversary. Rudy Park, 20 years. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Really. Did everyone forget? Everyone! Not a card, not an email, not a singing telegram, not an instant message or tweet in Rudy's honor. Nothing telling us that this fine feature has: 1. Made America a better place, 2. Led to the dissolution of hatred and vice, 3. Had similar positive effects on you as a high-fiber diet. Uncle Mort, please don't get all mushy. I hate when my sweet little nephew is hurting. Come here a

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'

Net Bubbie

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

"It's my week to be responsible for the class plant."

'What have you been saying to him? He wants to be a careers master.'

"Oh Darling, I'm so proud! Your first dam!"

"Way to go, son."