Student Life Jester Pillows

Student to other about shredded paper: 'Some of these used textbooks have really been through the grind.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Thomas Carlyle

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

Dept. de Philosophie

Breakfast at Universities

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"We're laying you off, but, as a favor, howabout one last pratfall on your way out?"

'For years, I've had Bobo take care of all my admin paperwork so that I can concentrate on my research: Nobody seems to have noticed...'

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

'Fermat's Next-to-Last Theorem'

Student at bookstore advertising used books advertises used homework.

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"When I paid you to hack into the school's computer to change my grade, I meant to an A, not an F."

"Maybe using the term 'start spitballing' wasn't a great way to get them to start on this project."