Student Life Jester T-Shirts

Student to other about shredded paper: 'Some of these used textbooks have really been through the grind.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

Thomas Carlyle

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

Breakfast at Universities

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

Dept. de Philosophie

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"We're laying you off, but, as a favor, howabout one last pratfall on your way out?"

'For years, I've had Bobo take care of all my admin paperwork so that I can concentrate on my research: Nobody seems to have noticed...'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

Student at bookstore advertising used books advertises used homework.

'Fermat's Next-to-Last Theorem'

"Maybe using the term 'start spitballing' wasn't a great way to get them to start on this project."