Student Life Explorers Gifts

'I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I don't think they're gonna miss us over the summer. I think they stopped missing us in April.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Three more years of high school."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'In general, do the right thing.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Safe spaces?

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Great, now we're lost."

"I need a gap year."

'Everybody's grades are down, Dad -- I think the school's having some kind of austerity program.'

The Spring Break Venus

"I didn't have enough fingers. I had to use a couple of toes."

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

"A few centuries ago, there was a very primitive system for data transmission: it was called Synapse.

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Archeology 101.

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

Giant cat at school open night.

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"