Student Extraordinaire Pillows

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

I drive, therefore I am.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

Drawing on an island.

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"If robots can replace workers, then they can replace students. So I created one for me. Now I can stay home all day and play video games."

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"Well, don't look at me, you got him the chemistry set!"

Zinzhoff wins Nobel Prize/Creates life in test tube/Or was it in there when he started?

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

When scientists start to look like their projects.

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

"Lucky!"

I love Music.

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

"Let's work really hard today—your parents are eager for deliverables."

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

Trans Rights are Human Rights