Student Accommodation Staff Gifts

"Two weeks working in student accommodation listening to 'Kiss' on volume 11 has fried his brains!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

TSA Noah

The World's Easiest Airport

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Employee of the Month Parking

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Busy office.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

The Scanner Of Love.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Sales.