Stripy Lawn Lover Gifts

Lawn mower, mowing round sunbather.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

I love tennis

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

Mower Repair

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

Crazy paving company.

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'