Strict Parenting Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Poor Diego. He got a C-minus on his math homework. His dad's gonna be really mad."

'The child is very illogical'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Mobile phone damage to children.

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

'I don't worry when he calls from the door way or the front steps - only when he starts heading this way.'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

Next On The Agenda

"My mom's multilingual. She can say 'no' in four languages."