Strict Parenting Enthusiast Pillows

"My mom's multilingual. She can say 'no' in four languages."

'I don't worry when he calls from the door way or the front steps - only when he starts heading this way.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'I'm not too sure about that.'

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Growth Charts

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Crying baby

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Early childhood development

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

Lemming mothers

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"My first Father's day!"

My child is a genius.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?