Stress-free Sailor Gifts

'I've been under a lot of pressure.' (Diver on therapist's couch).

The Dubloon Stops Here

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Sailor boy

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

'My parents wanted to take me to the dentist. I said I was big enough to go by myself.'

"We're luckier than most people..."

"Too long at sea, I'm afraid."

Directions to the Bar.

Boat to the Horizon.

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

"What are you yelling at me for? You're the one at the tiller."

Ship

'Worry kills more people than work.'

'Well if it's a sandbar, why are we going in circles?!'

Hydrofoil wing boat.

'Bon fromage!'

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

'What type of line are you using?'

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

A person is asking for help in the sea. A sailor comes just to the poor man just to make him to pull the boat.

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

Mr Bumble

"Good, I can feel a slight breeze..."

Pirate Medicine and Pirate Carpentry

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

They were ALL texting.

"Look, if you must go down to the seas again, to the lonely seas and sky, then go!But take your BlackBerry."

Feeding the ducks (it's a sailing boat).