Stress-free Lifestylers Gifts

'Our reputation for longevity is based on several factors: hard work, simple food, lack of stress and the inability to count correctly.'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Imagine there's no office...

"Yeah, your inner child called. They want a nap, a juice box, and a restraining order." "Ruining whoops, running a country is tough. Maybe I need to relax and channel my inner child."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

I know hard work pays off in the long run, but goofing off has such immediate rewards!

'An 'out' box AND and 'in' box? Hey' I don't need that kind of stress!'

Self-Isolatteion

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'Call me lazy if you want, but I wouldn't trade my life with anybody else's...'

"Any idiot can take the rat out of the race. The trick is getting the race out of the rat!"

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

'Ned, your repressed angst keeps tipping over and blocking my light.'

"Do you ever get that 'Monday morning' feeling?"

"For heaven's sake try to relax now you're retired."

'Sigh!'

'Hard Day?'

Simple Pleasures of the Non-Commuter

Dot to Dot Magazine

"Mr. Clark isn't here today. He called in sick of the whole thing."

"We're getting reports that doctors are getting burned out from trying to help their 
patients who can't afford their medications, so I've come up with a plan. We'll 
market a new drug to help with physician burnout!"

'No thanks - just wanted to stop and smell them.'

"Could you help me to fit 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Dark cloud over an office.

"I haven't been in because I've been tearing it out myself."

"You have reached someone who does not answer the phone after 8 p.m. If this is a matter of life and death, it will likely be resolved by morning."

"My mother-in-law is in town. Can I work late in office this month?"