Stress Consultant Gifts

'You must be mistaken. I don't get ulcers. I give them!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Fragile stamper.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'I call it laziness - He calls it stress management.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

White flag being waved around bosses door.

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

"Dude. You seem tense."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"When the doctor said you should get a pet for lockdown I think he meant a cat!"

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

"I have had three work-related heart attacks, witch shows you that I care about my job."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'You need some stress.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"Try to work harder, Moorhead. You'll feel better for it."

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'