Stress Buster Gifts

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"To keep on top of the caseload I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"Any other hobbies besides suffering?"

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

'You're out here because you're supposed to receive a performance review? I'm out here because I'm supposed to give one!'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"You must learn to let go."

Doctors to screen for depression.

How antidepressants should work.

"You look far too relaxed. Around here you're expected to stress for success."

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

'Goddamn traffic...I'm late for my meditation class.'

"The speaker was rushed to the hospital with chest pains. Apparently, he has an opportunity with high blood pressure."

"With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

'In the ineterest of overcoming my reluctance to delegate, starting Monday i want you to do all my worrying for me.'

With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

"Change in plans - the deadline's been moved up to four days ago."

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"The good news is thet a number of GPs have agree to take action on a number of dangerous 'lifestyle' issues..." "And the bad news?..." "They've decided the best way to reduce their risk is by retiring!"

"I can't find that much hair in a drain and not see stress issues."

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

'You need to go home, take a long relaxing bath surrounded by aromatic candles and do an hour of yoga; but that's out of the question. How about a five minute smoking break ?'

'Come on, you can always fit one more.'

Australian stress counselling.

'I was able to neutralize the stress hormone using chocolate.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."