Streaming Service Savants Gifts

"No one buys albums anymore so we've decided to release a concept single."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"You look pleased with yourself. What gives, little buddy?" "Well..." "...Netflix was removing their 'Voltron' reboot, so I spent forty hours straight streaming it. I finished all eight seasons with seconds to spare." "It was worth it. The show was so insanely good that it made me feel like I was ten years old again..." "...like I just skateboarded home with a Mountain Dew and a bag of Funyons after watching 'Footloose.'" "Something tells me my '80s were a lot sexier than your '80s."

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

The Music Lover.

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

The Digital Dark Ages

"I'm the owner of Happy Pappy's comedy club. Here's my card. Call me."

'Here's a song that's been done to death.'

Earth wearing Mickey Mouse hat

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

Cancel Culture and Stand-Up Comedy

Wow! He can hear a song just once and then play it? Yeah, he has a phonographic memory!

José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."

Pub Quiz: 'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Cable / Satellite / Digital TV "Still nothing on TV."

"...and if you can't get gochujang, ketchup will do."

"They still had so much TV ahead of them."

"Special delivery from the Amazon!"