Strategy Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"Trying to improve customer loyalty is okay, but kidnapping customers and locking them in your cellar is not the right way to go about it."

"No, a business model and a booth babe aren't the same thing."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Target your customer.

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

Under new blame.

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Game changing

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

Business Target

Coronavirus Windmills

'We use a modified 'carrot and stick' approach here - We've done away with the carrot.'

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

"When it comes to online marketing, I'm puzzled."