Strategic Satire Pillows

"Huh, somehow I missed that. So resting on our laurels is at the core of our new strategic plan."

"Nation-building never works."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Spot the difference.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Under new blame.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

Coronavirus Windmills

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"No, the employees don't fear you, sir. What gives you that impression?"

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"The Nominees"

Donald Trump Bulldozing Mexico, Canada, Panama, Bolivia, and Greenland

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"Beg for peace!"

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"