Strategic Planning Session Gifts

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Group Think Time

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"#Win!"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Upward Progress

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Failure/Due Diligence

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'