Strategy Meetings Gifts

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'