Straight-talker Admirer Pillows

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"Feel free to take notes."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Come in, minion."

Loud Chorister

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Forrest Gander

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

marionette

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

Tarnhelm

Anthony Trollope

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

Charles Dickens

'It's a knight in British army issue shining armour' - Knight in string vest and underpants

'It's from Goldilocks's lawyer. Apparently, she's suing us because she burnt her mouth on the hot porridge.'

Alexander Pushkin

"That isn't allowed either."

Freia and the apples of eternal youth

Augmented reality check

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

Cowardly lion is carrying a keg of courage.

V S Naipaul

Michael Moorcock

"Awesome! Are you sure I won't end up spending all my time on it?"

"Give it to me straight, Doc – my mother’s driving you nuts, right?"

"I wish my life were as exciting as those movies!"