Storytime Skeptic Pillows

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'I know when I'm being worked in during a commercial.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Sorry mum, but you lost me after 'Once Upon a Time.'"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"Well did he?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."