Storytime Revolutionist Pillows

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'A is for Arse.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"