Storytime Philosopher T-Shirts

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

The little engine that coulda woulda shoulda

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Well did he?"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Think about the honey."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'